Saturday, January 06, 2007

11:17 AM

amelia

jung finally posted. haha.

orientation is over. was bit rushed for prep. wednesday stayed back to fold the brochures and to polish the trophies and ba4s...thursday blew balloons and designed the flag..
the balloons dint finish blowing..the flag dint finish painting..so we painted it on fri in the morn, recess and during lunch..
in the morning reached sch at 6.30..then onli got yingyun at her class there. so waited awhile until at 6.40 when yijung n chuxi reached...then went to np room on the way there met up with cong.. then realised that the flag was in np room then went down to ask ma'am..yea.
then painted till 7++..
then havent finish..then recess 2/12 sqms went for pe lesson.. then cong got om so left me n hong to paint..then we were late for class le then we suibian wash our hand then ran to classroom..then my hand still got black paint lah! then i dint noe somemore i dried my hand on my skirt!!! then not very dry or dunno wad i go touch my BAG somemore and it was WHITE and now its abit black =(
and my skirt..but some spots quite diluted so can wash off...

yea then orientation. wore dalt tee n shiku =) asked skm the night before on wad colour socks to wear coz ma'am never tell us b4...then sqms say shiku should be black but then that time last dalt 37ma'ams were wearing white socks..so called to confirm...yea..
then after sch 2.30!! not fair ok. 2/12 ppl ended at 2. zhanglaoshi says its maybe coz they dun haf conversational malay this semester but next semester will exchange.. yea then jiamin forgot to bring black socks then sqms dint bring exta.. then i forgot to bring extra too >< then need to ask ma'am then ma'am say just wear hongzi.
yea orientation. i think pulling ppl to booth is fun! they all quite enthu abt np. except some who said they signed up le then obviously cant check wad. so yea.

then got debrief.

then we went to quadrangle.coz sqms wanted to go shout at basketball court but other sqms told them not to..so wanted to go tyre swing. then waiting for other sqms to come. then they sat down at quadrangle. and ended up at quadrangle talking n stuff n admiring the sky which was abit greyish and very cloudy..but very nice to look at.. haha the brightness was just right too. then stare very long.
then ma'am came and asked us to go coz apparently they told us to go home at 6.20 but dunno wad happened and all the sqms staying at the quadrangle dun even noe they told us that and they ask us wad time and we dunno how to answer and wanted to say 6 -.- coz it was 6.40 or sth liao.
then went to jp to eat dinner. then went home...

thinking back on the debrief..
haiz.
dunno whether ma'ams just got a very high expectation of us
or just that we are of a very low standard or wadever u call that.
and they were disappointed again
and we felt chao guilty
and ended up in tears.
i think our sqd should go and see a psychologist one day. can go see chu's psychologist -.- pei3 chuxi yi qi qu appointment haha then dunnid spend $$ -.-

haiz.
doing our best. or not?
maybe its just such a profound term that we dun understand.
but doesnt it simply means that we put in effort to try to do our best. and were satisfied with the outcome?
if you were given a chance, would you do the same thing again?
if yes, shouldnt you feel that you have done your best?
if no, then you have reason to say you have not done your best lah. coz you can say that if i was to do it again i would not blah blah blah. then maybe you have not done your best.
but if we feel that if we had a chance to do it again, we would simply repeat everything we did. then wad's the point of saying we have not done our best?
then it simply means that we would never do our best in our life.
and there's no point in asking that question to yourself or to anyone.
coz the answer will just be no. isnt it?
maybe we should just replace that question with "if you had a chance to do it again, would you do the same thing?" and the answer of that question, would be that of the 5-word question

or maybe we should start being contented to what we have done.
since nothing can be done, wad's the point of thinking that "i have not done my best" all the time? and the next time would still be "i have not done my best" because maybe the expectation of yourself would be higher. and it just goes on and on and when you die, you will feel that you have not made use of your life. so might as well be positive of yourself and as long as you feel that you would simply do the same thing if you have a chance to do it again and again, then just be satisfied and stop thinking of it.

what a post.
im just repeating wad im saying.
i dun even noe wad im saying. do i?